Saturday 2 December 2017

In Line: TD Canada Trust

-Hey, hey. Shhh. Shhhh. Lookit that man.
-What man?
-Shhhh! Six o’clock.
-What?
-Right behind us.
-Where? Ooooh. Oh my.
-Those are all hundreds.
-My, oh my. How fast are you?
-Hahaha. Not fast enough.
-Me neither. Not anymore.
-I guess he’s safe for now.
-Hahaha. From us at least.
-Forty years ago it mighta been a different story.
-Hahaha. I’d have just asked him to take me to dinner. Hahaha
-Hahaha

Wednesday 29 November 2017

By the Fire: Starbucks

-Hi! How are you?
-Oh, Good. How are you?
-Oh, Good, just getting some Christmas shopping done. Have you finished yet?
-Not even close. I don't know. I kind of hate Christmas.
-Hate Christmas? Why?
-I don't know. Just a bunch of capitalist brainwashing.
-I guess, yeah. Yeah, that's for sure.
-I don't know.
-I mean it also proves that capitalism isn't natural for human beings.
-How's that?
-I mean, capitalism and the free hand of the market and all that. We're supposed to be rational consumers. But the most rational thing would either be not buying each other gifts, or just saying I'd like cash and hoping the other person gives you more than you give them.
-Hahaha.
-Haha. I'm serious. Kind of. Christmas proves, at least a little, we aren't rational. We like gifts more than money. Thoughtful gifts at least.
-I guess so. Haha.
-Haha
-Still gotta wait til pay day to get my shopping started.

Tuesday 28 November 2017

At the Front Desk: Public Library

-Jeremy?
-Pardon me?
-You don’t remember me?
-Umm. I don’t think so?
-It’s me.
-Sorry, where do we know each other from?
-Why are you looking at me like that?
-I’m sorry, I’m not meaning to.
-You’re only two hundred.
-Sorry, what’s that?
-A two hundred year old vampire should never be looking at an eight hundred year old vampire like that.
-What?
-Ever. 

Saturday 25 November 2017

By the Windows: Public Library

-This is my new phone.
-Oh, that's a nice one.
-It's from my dad. We have a bet.
-What's the bet?
-If I break it before Christmas, I owe him one hundred dollars. But if I don't, then he owes me a hundred.
-Oh, that's good. Better be careful then.
-He's my dad. His name is Randy. I call him Uncle. He's like an uncle to me.

Monday 16 May 2016

Heading In: 7-11

-Hey man, I'm just super hungry, could you buy me some food and a Pepsi?
-Uh... Okay, sure.
-And a Pepsi?
-Sure.
...
...
-You getting that for the guy outside?
-Yeah. I don't know if it'll help or not, but.
-I'm sure it can't hurt. I was gonna get the same thing.
-Hahaha. He asked you to?
-Yuh. Haha.
-Hahaha.
-I guess I'll just get him some cookies.
-Cool man.
...
...
-Here you go man.
-Aw thanks. Thank you so much.
-Oh, sorry, bro. I think I'm gonna eat the chicken.
-Okay then. I'll just eat these Fuckin cookies then. Hahaha,

Thursday 24 March 2016

Window Seats: Atlantis

-OMG, Golds is so douchy
-Yeah, but so is the UofR gym. So many dorks there. Like guys so so tanned and jacked up with no legs and muscle shirts on. They just look like assholes.
-I feel like asking them to stop going so that women might actually start going again.

Thursday 17 March 2016

Brewed Awakening

-Oh my god you sound awful.
-Yeah. I was just coughing so hard I puked in the parking lot.
-Oh my goo-oood. Are you okay?
-Yeah, it was mostly just white bile.